


Theatrics

by staticCathartic



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Experimental Style, Freeform, Human Experimentation, Implied Sexual Content, Period-Typical Racism, References to Drugs, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:20:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23551441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staticCathartic/pseuds/staticCathartic
Summary: A deeper dive into the world and mind of Herman "The Doctor" Carter and how he came to be.
Kudos: 2





	Theatrics

Everything seems wrong. Off. The world’s axes are tilted the wrong way and turning on their shins.  
Reverse. The choirs of the winds chant backwards while I walk through the halls. (Or was it the old radio I threw away after it agitating me for too long?) I hear the words breaking out of the already aged window sills. Each step I take is a step towards something murkier than a foothold beforehand. The claps of the heels from my shoes echo in chambers reverberated by a foul smelling fog.

Fog. This is not a real fog from the Connecticut River floodplain on a summer morning. This fog is something fabricated of the mind, like how bait looks at an angler fish’s light. It entices and it kills. The fog drags its victims in, as I’ve learned from first hand experience. Promises disguising themselves as a brighter future. Promises disguising themselves as a key to a cure. I wanted to know why people did evil things. I got what I wanted. I found evil, but not until it found me first. 

I’ve learned that Evil is not tangible, but definitely something that can be felt. I cannot grasp it with my own hands, but it can confiscate my heart and mind away from me as I no longer take control of my hands and feet. Its hands drove themselves through my chest as I kept screaming through the blood drowning me in my own lungs over and over again.

It turns you into a prisoner of your own mind. All motor functions depleted. The mirror cracks while I watch myself drive a fist through it. The screen of my eyes segregates me from the threshold of my eyelids. I bang on the one-sided window to no avail. The scalpel and saw take another victim to death’s tango to my own chagrin.

I couldn’t believe that an Evil could exist. My world revolved around the fact that there was no God when I was a boy. I stopped believing he could watch over me. Society took control of the world and I was just a mere jigsaw piece in the mixture of cultural differences. He certainly stopped paying attention to me, and instead something else kept Its close eye on my soul. God have mercy.

I hid behind a tree as I watched my own uncle get lynched for a false accusation when I was only thirteen. Evil took Her notice of me then, I’m sure of it; She followed us from Mississippi to Hartford. The tears from my eyes worked as a downstream river for the parasites of the wind’s choir to crawl through conjunctiva tissue. They followed me everywhere I went.

Stubbornness and naiveté is man’s greatest downfall. I was presented with an opportunity to save the world by a man whose blood stained my hands. Nevertheless his ill intentions were interlocked with my eagerness to learn. He found his child celebrity to groom and be the next beloved actor.

You see, no negro becomes a neurologist regardless of how much merit he may have. The grit and virtue of patience it requires are qualities that I simply do not hold. However, I am absolutely capable of the job and I have the neural capacity to carry the field on my shoulders with flying colors. 

The government had its own plans with me when I only believed I would study at one of the greatest universities the country had to offer. I was close to home, and that’s what mattered to my mother the most, while free admission was what grabbed my father’s attention. My sisters wanted me out of the house so they could have room in the cramped abode.

The man who knocked at my parents’ door and lured me in knew I had no choice when it was too late. My career path and name would be ripped in two, just like his…

I knew I had to quit. I knew I had to leave. I didn’t want to leave. I needed to continue my endeavors to the darkest parts of man’s mind. The elastization of grey matter was the means to an end, though I pursued reluctantly until I was coerced. The earnestness of the voices turned into a rolling thunder.

An old colleague with a mop-top a few years superior to me suggested that I not barricade myself inside my quarters every passing day. What I seek to bogart is more important than his psychedelic-infused daydreams, but nonetheless I entertain his ramblings for a night out in his apartment complex. He told me he got a copy of Jodorovsky’s most recent film The Holy Mountain on tape after it was pulled from theaters. He claimed that he has a relative in the industry who coveted his work and needed it to spread in secret. He wanted me to experience the minds of artists, and how the greatest thinkers are always silenced for the sake of the status quo. I took this as a compliment. He told me that I myself am an artist being so young in our field. A brilliant mind like my own 

“I need you to do me a favor, Herman. I want you to do one thing for me,” I watched him slip the VHS tape into the machinery under his small television while it was blurring into a glass of water. “I need you to drink this for the most authentic experience.”

“Are you giving me drugs? I didn’t come here for drugs.”

“I know what I’m doing. I need you to trust me. It’s one thing I ask.”

The world was spinning again. I felt my insides burn while I watched the rainbow of colors shift on the screen. I was no longer watching the movie but rather watched the walls around me shift with me as a bystander to the pounding in my ears. The ceiling flew further and further away from me while the screams of the darkness were salivating onto my ears. The gateway to my mind awakened and slipped into the darkest corners of my body. She spoke to me and I saw clearly what was happening. I shall return the favor to him one day. I will show him the beauty of what I saw; divine knowledge and pain.

Pain drives its stake through the heart and enlightens your mind, such is the voice of the wise. Take my body away into the promised land of knowledge and secrets. 

I wanted to hear Her voice again and see Her power. She holds the secrets that I desire. I craved to achieve what no scientist has yet to achieve. 

This is why I’m here.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted a work on here. I started most of this in February in one night then dropped it. During the current quarantine I've found that I've had more time on my hands than before, so I figured I should finally finish this experimental thing I've been working on before. I wanted to add my own twist to my favorite character and see how far I can take it.  
> I also hope everyone is safe and healthy! I've been forced out of my home but I'm trying to do the best that I can.


End file.
